Developing your own untapped and unrefined potential is a bit like remodeling an old house: First, you have to tear out some things—like pride or extreme self-sufficiency or bullheadedness or trying to over-control people or ___________ (fill in the blank with some attitude or behavior of yours that makes you say “ouch!”).
Letting go will often appear counterintuitive, but a bad attitude can make or break a team. To continue with the remodeling analogy, you have to tear out the old pipes that no longer work right and the sloping floors that haven’t been level in years in order to make room for straight floors and clean, up-to-code plumbing. Sometimes we need to tear out a bad attitude in order to grow the ability to respond in better ways.
We agree that many leaders would rather get and keep a grip than lose their grip. But if you want to build trust with others, you need to have the ability to let go. The discussion here is not about delegation. It concerns letting go of personal qualities that build walls not only between you and your team but also within yourself.
Here are a few attitudes you need to let go of in order to build a stronger team:
Pride
A proud leader’s mind is closed to new truths; he or she is unteachable. Pride causes inflexibility: “We will only pursue my ideas, thank you very much.” Pride resists change. Pride forces us to care more about status and prestige. Pride gets in the way of asking others for help.
A proud leader’s mind is closed to new truths; he or she is unteachable. Pride causes inflexibility: “We will only pursue my ideas, thank you very much.” Pride resists change. Pride forces us to care more about status and prestige. Pride gets in the way of asking others for help.
Pride is a wall; humility is a gate.
Uncontrolled Will
Leaders with uncontrolled wills avoid committing to common values or ideals beyond their own. Rather than a stubborn will, we need a focused will that centers on development, goals, and productivity.
Keeping our egos in check and our wills under control enables us to function much better as teammates and leaders.
Dishonesty
Dishonesty happens when a leader denies reality or seeks gain through deviousness. It is about game playing, manipulation, and pretense.
Integrity overcomes dishonesty. Leaders of integrity strive to avoid the deceitfulness of appearances. They are genuine, sincere, authentic, and trustworthy—qualities that build the confidence of coworkers and employees in their leaders.