Ron’s Short Review: I found this a little difficult to read but the key point for me is that we put way too much emphasis on cause and effect when in fact they are random events that happen in the same time frame. Our human mind looks for shortcuts to understand the world around us and if it can attach a cause and effect to an event, it will do so in order to explain it quickly and easily. Take caution. We have to question more to better understand the world around us.
This blog series is based on an article written by Travis Bradberry in Forbes titled “12 Habits of Genuine People.” You can read the previous installments here and here.
Here is his list of 12:
In this post I would like to consolidate points 5 and 9.
The real focus here is point number 9, “They put away their phones.” But I believe it relates directly to point 5, “They treat everyone with respect.”
When Bradberry writes about point number five, he emphasizes everyone. I don’t want to lose that emphasis. Genuine people treat all people with respect. You can watch their interactions with people who are farther up the organizational structure and people who are on the bottom rungs. It doesn’t make any difference. By observing their actions, you could not tell where the person “ranked” based on the interchange. One of my best indicators is how people treat wait staff when they encounter them. I have a high regard for people who treat the people who are serving them with great respect.
There is so much research on the bad impact of having our phones front and center all the time it would take an entire book to go into the impact. All negative impact.
I run a lot of team meetings in my work. To me, good teaming is at the heart of great organizations. The name of my company starts with the word Team. I’ve been facilitating meetings as a consultant for nearly 30 years and was either running them or a part of them in the corporate world for 20 years prior to that. Nothing! Nothing disrupts and minimizes the productivity of team meetings more than phones.
I’ve seen CEO’s keep their phone just under the lip of the table assuming that no one will notice their constant peeks or their occasional responses to email or messages. Do they really think everyone else in the room is that stupid? Apparently.
I’ve watched the MD get a text and immediately get up with a show of how important they are and explain that they need to answer this right away. A young working mom told me once that she received so many calls from her children over this argument or that disagreement that she finally resorted to one question. “Is there blood involved?” If not, she’ll handle it later. That young mom had apparently learned more than an MD. If there’s no blood involved, don’t exhibit the disrespect by leaving the room for an “important” call.
Steven Covey wrote the book 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. Rule number 5 is “Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood.” Mr. Covey had discovered that as human beings, we’re much more interested in listening to your point of view once you’ve shown the respect to fully listen to and understand my point of view. Having a phone in hand during the conversations sends the message that you’re really not fully interested in understanding. There are far more important things to respond to on my phone than stand here and listen to your point of view.
Putting the phone away not only makes you a more genuine person, a person that people want to follow. It also makes you much more effective. If leadership and effectiveness are two things you believe will benefit you in the long run, PUT THE PHONE AWAY!
For the next few Monday posts, I want to provide some snapshots into what makes up organizational integrity.
To have a great organization, integrity must be widespread. It won’t do to be a saintly leader of highest integrity if the rest of the team consists of liars, backbiters, and thieves. Integrity must exist from top to bottom. There are some key qualities that need to be modeled by leadership in order for an organization to embrace integrity.
This week we’ll start with Vulnerability.
A leader who is approachable, available, and open to other ideas, thoughts, and even criticism has learned to be a humble person and further develops his or her integrity.
Executives often overlook the power of vulnerability. They confuse vulnerability with being weak. Too often, and for whatever reason (fear, circumstances, office politics, and so on), leaders build walls around themselves. They add one brick at a time until one day they become walled off from their people and their peers. The walls give them protection, but at the same time, the walls hide them from the harsh realities that confront every leader and keep them from communicating effectively. They are insulated and protected, but they are also cut off from others. Behind the walls, they can control and be hidden from failure. Behind the walls, they do not need to trust others or be vulnerable.
Gates, instead of walls, give others access to leaders, which enables leaders to demonstrate that they are trustworthy, open, and humble. Gates also allow leaders to share their visions and values with others. Open gates allow leaders to be vulnerable, to let go, and to trust others, which in turn builds others’ trust in their leaders.
Abraham Lincoln made himself accessible to people as often as he could. He listened to them, cried with them, and found out about the war campaign from them. His habit of wandering around and listening to others offers an important management lesson. Donald Phillips writes,
If subordinates, or people in general, know that they genuinely have easy access to their leader, they’ll tend to view the leader in a more positive, trustworthy light. “Hey,” the followers think, “this guy
really wants to hear from me—to know what I think and what’s really going on. He must be committed to making things work!” And so Lincoln was.
Once a leader takes this step of vulnerability, others will give back, and an effective team can be built on interpersonal integrity.
To have a great organization, integrity must be widespread.
So what does this look like?
As leader, you are the key. Integrity and trust are inseparable; one cannot exist without the other. According to Charles O’Reilly and Karlene Roberts,
Leaders who build trusting relationships within their team are willing to consider alternative viewpoints and to make use of other people’s expertise and abilities. They feel comfortable with the group and are willing to let others exercise influence over group decisions. In contrast, managers in a distrustful environment often take a self-protective posture. They’re directive and hold tight the reins of power. Those who work for such managers are likely to pass the distrust on by withholding and distorting information.
How does integrity-based leadership work?
In a research study, several groups of business executives were asked to be involved in a role-playing exercise. The groups were given identical factual information about a difficult policy decision, and then they were asked to solve a problem related to that decision. Half of the groups were briefed to expect trusting behavior from the members of their group; the other half were told to expect untrusting behavior (“You cannot openly express feelings or differences with members of your group”).
After thirty minutes of discussion, each group member as well as those who had observed the role playing completed a questionnaire. The responses were in harmony with each other: The discussions among members in the high-trust group were significantly more positive than the discussions among members of the low-trust group. In fact, people in the low-trust group who tried to be open and honest were virtually ignored. Hostility was caused by a mere suggestion, and it quickly spread throughout the group. The people in the low-trust groups realized that the lack of trust kept them from high achievement. They did not feel free to be vulnerable due to the actions and rejection of other group members.
Here are some findings on the high-trust group:
The high-trust group opened the gate of personal vulnerability, and the result was a better team and a model of integrity-based leadership.
When people do not trust one another, it is difficult for the organization to succeed and for the people within the organization to feel completely fulfilled. People who feel trusted and who trust their leaders are more satisfied, and their work environment is less stressful. There exists a feeling of openness and confidence and a greater ability for people to believe they can take risks.
In my last blog post, I set up this series of posts based on an article written by Travis Bradberry in Forbes a couple of years ago titled “12 Habits of Genuine People.”
Here is his list of 12:
I would like to add my comments and observations to these over the next few blogs.
Let me start by consolidating the last three on the list, Genuine people aren’t driven by ego, aren’t hypocrites and don’t brag. These three are related in some way.
Ego and bragging are driven by fear. Every time someone says to me, “That person certainly has a big ego”, my first reaction is to wonder what it is they fear. I’m going to suggest that we all have a fear of “being found out.” I know that I deal with this one a lot. Once they discover that I’m just a simple guy from a small town with a degree in engineering (rather than psychology or organizational development) they’ll wonder why I’m here to be a team and leadership consultant/coach. But if we realize that we each bring a unique experience, understanding, and curiosity to every situation, we begin to realize that we do indeed have value. We don’t need to brag about it or let our ego get in the way.
Being a hypocrite is slightly different in that they don’t necessarily practice what they preach. The root of the word meant “stage actor”. The actor was pretending to be someone they weren’t. Being a hypocrite is putting up a false front, pretending to be someone you’re not. It takes the concept of “being found out” one step further. A hypocrite has no intention of being found out. No intention of being genuine or real. They’ll put on their game face and keep up the false front in any circumstance. You never really know who they are or what they really stand for.
I have two experiences with my clients that penetrate their “game face.” One is when I do a feedback session with them and another is when I run an exercise I call “Human Beings, not Human Doings” in team sessions.
As part of my consulting practice, I often do 360 feedback sessions. It gains the term 360 because it gathers data from all around the candidate, Direct Reports, Peers, and Boss.
I’ve noticed through the years that my client will walk into these sessions with a very strong “game face.” Whatever they see as their signature approach, direct, unyielding, humorous, carefree, it doesn’t make a difference, they’re determined to maintain that game face through the session.
However, as we begin to investigate the depths of the feedback and the responses from the 360 are different than the self-assessment, I notice a change in their face. It’s a real physical change. Muscles begin to relax or deform, eyes seem less steely, the shape of the mouth can change dramatically. When they begin to drop their protective barrier and begin receiving real, direct feedback their game face begins to change. Their face begins to change. They turn to a more genuine person.
Another exercise I run is Human Beings, not Human Doings. In this exercise performed with a team, each person talks about people or events which have profoundly shaped their values and behaviors. For a moment people are talking about who they are, not what they do. This exercise has never failed to include tears, hearty laughter, great sympathy, and real understanding. For a moment, people have shed their game face.
When you’re a genuine person, there is no need for ego, hypocrisy or bragging. Every human being is unique, wonderful, enjoyable, enthusiastic and curious. Don’t hide behind your game face. Don’t be an actor on stage. Be a genuine human being. People will want to be part your world and what you stand for. This is the basis for great leadership.
In a research study several groups of business executives were asked to be involved in a role-playing exercise. The groups were given identical factual information about a difficult policy decision, and then they were asked to solve a problem related to that decision. Half of the groups were briefed to expect trustworthy behavior from the members of their group; the other half were told to expect untrusting behavior (“You cannot openly express feelings or differences with members of your group”).
After thirty minutes of discussion, each group member as well as those who had observed the role playing completed a questionnaire. The responses were in harmony with each other: The discussions among members in the high-trust group were significantly more positive than the discussions among members of the low-trust group. In fact, people in the low-trust group who tried to be open and honest were virtually ignored. Hostility was caused by a mere suggestion, and it quickly spread throughout the group. The people in the low-trust groups realized that the lack of trust kept them from high achievement. They did not feel free to be vulnerable due to the actions and rejection of other group members—they were not among the trustworthy.
Here are some findings on the high-trust group:
The high-trust group opened the gate of personal vulnerability, and the result was a better team and a model of integrity-based leadership.
When people do not trust one another, it is difficult for the organization to succeed and for the people within the organization to feel completely fulfilled. People who feel trusted and who find their leaders trustworthy are more satisfied, and their work environment is less stressful. There exists a feeling of openness and confidence and a greater ability for people to believe they can take risks.
A couple of years ago Travis Bradberry wrote an article for Forbes titled “12 Habits of Genuine People.” He begins the article by looking at the concept of Emotional Intelligence or Emotional Quotient (EQ). It’s been demonstrated that people with high EQ’s perform better, get paid better and are better leaders. His point is EQ doesn’t produce any of those benefits if you’re not genuine.
That title caught my eye and it went into the pile of topics for blogs. Well it’s now two years later but as I reread the article it has a timeless message that will never go out of date.
I’m going to comment on his 12 Habits in a series of blog posts and will consolidate a few of them. Here is his list of 12:
Let’s start with the definition of Genuine. As I looked up the history and meaning of the word I would see many references to the word “Authentic” and vise versa. The two words seem to be tightly coupled.
We can learn a lot by looking at the synonyms and you wouldn’t be surprised by any of them. Both words have many of the same synonyms. But I often find it more revealing to look at the antonyms.
The antonyms begin to paint a very clear and often recognizable picture. Both our experience and brain science notes that the human mind seems to be very aware of and skeptical of anything that appears to be bogus, insincere, fake or unreliable. These things are rooted in the deepest part of our brain that is on a constant lookout for danger. Most of it happens in the subconscious but as soon as our brain sends up some warnings our body begins to react in many ways to gain our attention and prepare us for fight or flight.
Think about your reaction to those words.
We’re watching TV and suddenly the words say, “Wait! Order now and we’ll double your order for the same price of $19.99!” What’s your reaction? BOGUS
The words are coming out of their mouth but there is no real concern in their expression. We instantly know that the words are INSINCERE.
We hear this one almost every day. FAKE news. FAKE stories. FAKE accusations. I’ve heard many family and friends say, “I don’t know who to trust anymore.” The only way to judge news and behaviors is to know what you believe in, what you stand for and why.
Did someone do what they said they were going to do? Are they reliable? This brings in many of the synonyms related to genuine and authentic: dependable, trustworthy, honest, faithful. If people don’t live up to these standards, they are UNRELIABLE.
Being genuine is a lot of things. But it is not bogus, insincere, fake or unreliable. Over the next few posts, we’ll look at Mr. Bradberry’s list to help us stay on the path of being genuine.
Ron’s Short Review: The key to top performance is focus! There a lot to this book but this line summarizes the key message: “Whenever they could, top performers carefully selected which priorities, tasks, collaborations, team meetings, committees, analyses, customers, new ideas, steps in a process, and interactions to undertake, and which to neglect or reject.” Easily said. Difficult to do. Especially for High Achievers. High Achievement is what got you here. Focus is what will get you to the next step.
Integrity and the trust it births are a leader’s treasured assets to be guarded at all costs. It is difficult to build an organization—or a life—successfully without integrity.
With integrity, you’re the real deal.
Last week, we discussed stumbling blocks to a life of integrity. This week I want to talk about some of the essentials of that kind of life.
People are most willing to follow someone they can trust. The current lack of trust in business leadership seems to have resulted from a corporate culture in which leaders have shown a complete disregard for personal integrity.
Building trust with employees, peers, and investors starts and ends with integrity.
If there is a lack of consistency between our public and private lives, then eventually we will be unable to manage the divide. Integrity will crumble.
Bold acts issue from a person who has unshakable confidence. It is important to know the values and principles that drive your behavior.
It is important to know the values and principles that drive your behavior. Only then will you have the confidence to act boldly in spite of peer pressure or prevailing opinions.
Leaders who want a total quality life seek to act boldly when faced with compromising decisions and actions. They have no fear because they fall back on their values and their deep need to live a life of integrity and trust.
The pursuit of integrity requires what is best and noble in your character.
Approach all you do with a joyful, positive, uplifting mind-set. The pursuit of integrity requires what is best and noble in your character. You can’t afford the defeating, polluting influence of a negative outlook.
Sincere, genuine, authentic, trustworthy. Are these words that are often heard when people describe you? Or how about guarded, pretentious, closed, lacking character? Leadership is all about influence. Without integrity and the trust it builds, you lose all ability to influence others.
How many times have you used the following phrases? I should probably ask, “How many times have you heard the following phrases?” We often don’t hear our own words, but we sure hear others words.
These words and phrases are often used under the guise of trying to help. But, are they helpful?
What’s your reaction when someone says, “Don’t do it that way.”
Reaction to any of the other statements will be similar.
So how does someone truly help?
Notice that so far, no specific “help” have been offered. But by asking what type of help would be useful, there may be multiple answers.
Usually, the best form of help you can offer is simply asking what type of help would be useful. Once the person or team is confident that you really want to help in any way you can, multiple ways of helping will become evident.
Don’t express what you think will help. Simply offer to help in any way needed. People really appreciate it.
William Pollard wrote in The Soul of the Firm,
As we seek to understand and apply a cause for our work, our desire is not to be known for what we know but for what we do. We must be people of integrity seeking to do that which is right even when no one is looking and staying committed whether the test is adversity or prosperity.
Becoming a leader is more easily contemplated than accomplished. Before we explore the attitudes and actions that build a life of integrity, we need to look at several stumbling blocks that are not always easily seen or surmounted on the journey.
When we are paralyzed by fear, we tend to lose perspective and often make decisions or act in ways that do not support our integrity. Fear-caused paralysis then leads to procrastination.
Fear does tend to immobilize. Our lack of action sends a powerful—if unintended—message: Our actions (or resulting inactions) do not match our intentions.
Procrastination leads to purposelessness. We find ourselves losing our vision and hope. We vacillate and lose heart. We are paralyzed, we procrastinate, and then we simply give up. Integrity and living a life of quality sink below our radar. We expect—or others expect us—to deliver results, but we are bound by such fear that we lose our sense of direction and, along the way, our core strength.
Compromising values happens gradually over time—one little lie or indiscretion adds to another until, almost imperceptibly, integrity and character erode. Finally, at some point our integrity is overwhelmed.
A friend once said, “Sin always takes you farther than you intend to go and keeps you longer than you intend to stay.” Compromising our integrity leads to a similar situation.
Many of the business tragedies started as minor omissions or small wrong decisions. Over time they grew, and suddenly the CEOs found themselves telling lies to their stockholders, employees, and the media. Records were fudged; fortunes have been lost. And it all started with one small compromise.
Hypocrisy, like fear and compromise, can destroy integrity and render leaders trustless.
The word hupokrisis was used in classical Greek as part of theatrical acting. It came to mean acting a part. In this sense the greatest actors are true hypocrites: They assume a role and act out a part. Their acting roles are separate from their real lives. But in leadership, integrity is about actions matching beliefs. Do leaders “act” the part or are they genuine? Does their walk match their talk?
Fear, compromise, and hypocrisy are daunting barriers to a life of integrity. But living the alternative—a whole life of integrity—is definitely possible and well worth the effort.
There’s an old joke about a sign over a shop that says
For most of the industrial age, this has been the Holy Grail. Get things out the door at the lowest possible cost and yet maintain good quality. There have been several books written on this exact theme. Inc. magazine recently ran an article titled “Why Faster, Better, Cheaper is no longer good enough.”
Most of the things written seem to be adding additional components that must now be included along with Faster, Better and Cheaper (FBC). I would like to take a slightly different slant.
If you’re focused on FBC and any of the additional components being mentioned today, you’re not a leader you’re a manager. Managers are looking for the Holy Grail believing that if we just do these things better than the competition, we’ll win. Not true. Or even if it is true the victory will be painfully short in today’s rapid pace of change.
Leaders don’t focus on FBC. Leaders focus on dilemmas.
di·lem·ma: a situation in which a difficult choice has to be made between two or more alternatives, especially equally undesirable ones.
Synonyms: quandary, predicament, Catch-22, vicious circle, plight, mess, muddle
You’ll notice that all the synonyms have no answer. It’s simply the choice between two equally undesirable answers. In business, it’s sometimes the choice between to desirable answers. Both alternatives are good and may even be requirements, you just don’t have the resources to do both. You’re on the horns of a dilemma.
The point of this ancient saying “horns of a dilemma” is that you’re going to get gored either way. Whichever choice you make there will be blood.
Let’s say you must make a choice between fixing a short-term problem and investing in long-term success. You just don’t have the resources to do both. You’re on the horns of a dilemma. If you chose the short-term solution the long-term results are going to gore you and vice versa.
The point of this post is to evaluate what types of decisions you and your team making? If it fits into the FBC categories, you’re managing. If you’re dealing with dilemmas, you’re trying to lead through difficult decisions.
If you’re not dealing with dilemmas you’re not leading. If your leadership team is not dealing with dilemmas, you’ve already lost.
One of the major obstacles keeping leadership teams from dealing with dilemmas is second-guessing. It’s very easy to look at the damage caused by choosing one side or the other of a dilemma and ask,
These and other forms of second guessing don’t take into account that a choice had to be made and it was a dilemma. It’s not that the decision makers weren’t aware of the damage that would occur with either decision. It’s just that the dilemma is forgotten or misunderstood or misrepresented at some point in the future.
Leaders and Leadership teams must be dealing with dilemmas. However, it’s critically important that the decision made is recorded and understood when the resulting damage occurs.
Dealing with dilemmas is difficult.
Dealing with dilemmas is acknowledging the damage that will be done either way.
Dealing with dilemmas is leadership. Leadership is difficult. Be a good leader anyway.