Image Source: Kristina D.C. Hoeppner, Creative Commons
In previous blogs you have heard me talk about the difference of listening with the intent to understand versus listening with the intent to respond. So often while we’re “listening” our minds are working rapidly trying to figure out how we are going to respond to what the person is saying rather than trying to figure out what they’re trying to communicate.
Two of my readings recently touched on the power and aspect of listening. One comes from an HBR blog by Ram Charan of June 21, 2012 titled “The Discipline of Listening.” In the article Ram gives several good practical approaches to improving your listening skills but I want to share a few words with you from the end of his blog:
“For leaders, listening is a central competence for success. At its core, listening is connecting. Your ability to understand the true spirit of a message as it is intended to be communicated, and demonstrate your understanding, is paramount in forming connections and leading effectively. Truly empathetic listening requires courage – the willingness to let go of the old habits and embrace new ones that may, at first, feel time-consuming and inefficient. But once acquired, these listening habits are the very skills that turn would-be leaders into true ones.”
Notice that it’s the difference between “would-be” leaders and real ones. So many people believe that it’s what they know that makes them great leaders. In reality it’s what they continually learn that make them great leaders. You can only learn through listening.
I’ve also just begun reading The Corner Office: Indispensable and Unexpected Lessons from CEOs on How to Lead and Succeed
Adam poses an interesting question at the beginning of the Passionate Curiosity chapter:
“Imagine one hundred people working in a large company. They’re roughly the same age, around thirty five. They’re all vice presidents and share many of the same qualities that got them where they are. They’re smart, collegial, and hardworking. They consider themselves team players. They have positive attitudes and they’re good communicators. They’re conscientious about their jobs. They have integrity. If everyone shares these qualities, what is going to determine who gets the next promotion?”
Adam goes on to discuss a few key principles that allows some of these hundred people to eventually make it to the office of CEO. Number one on that set of principles is Passionate Curiosity. He says of these people:
“They wonder why things work and the way they do and whether those things can be improved upon. They want to know people’s stories and what they do.” Adam goes on to say “The CEO’s are not necessarily the smartest people in the room, but they are the best students. They learn, they teach, and they understand people and the business world, and then bring all that knowledge together to drive their organizations forward.”
In all the research that has been done in the world, we have never found any correlation between success and being smart. However, we find great correlation between success and listening.
Are you truly listening today or just trying to help other people see how smart you are?