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Physical Therapy

by Ron Potter

I’ve been in Physical Therapy (PT) for the last several weeks.  It’s a concept that can strike terror into your heart.

Pain

There is no shortage of pain or suffering while you’re at PT.  In fact, I’ve accused them of updating machines from the torture of evil dungeons.

The staff at PT doesn’t let up on the pain and suffering caused by their work.  In fact, they won’t let up until I get it right or I get enough repetitions to produce some gain from the effort.  They’re relentless in causing pain and suffering in order to gain ground on my ailment.

Encouraging

However, during the effort that is painful and exhausting, I find the staff to be very encouraging and motivating.  What causes this seeming dilemma?  On the wall, they have posted their dozen rules to live by.

Dozen Rules to Live By

  1. Live God-Centered
  2. Love People and Build Relationships
  3. Create Remarkable Experiences Through Exceptional Service
  4. Promote Growth and Embrace Change
  5. Be Generous
  6. Pursue Excellence
  7. Be Efficient
  8. Act with Honesty and Integrity
  9. Stay Humble
  10. Utilize Strengths and Passions
  11. Encourage Autonomy, Innovation, and Clarity
  12. Be Transparent

Let me expand on a few of these.

Live God-Centered

God doesn’t promise a pain-free life.  Be he does promise to love us and will always be with us.  That’s what the people at physical therapy do.  They are always with us through the entire exercise set and they make us feel cared for and appreciated when they’re administrating pain (in an effort to make us better).

Love People and Build Relationships

As people approach the end of their life, their minds turn to relationships.  I hope I have many years left but I do find my mind and memories turning to relationships.

I received a text message from a friend I first knew forty years ago.  I was so glad to get that message that I immediately called him back.  He had coded the first computer program I ever developed.  We spent many hours going through the code and becoming great friends along the journey.

Promote Growth and Embrace Change

Change is the part of life that people seem to resist the most.  Although things are constantly changing, there seems to be a desire to ignore or deny that things are changing.  Things constantly change.  Embrace it.

Act with Honesty and Integrity

Honesty and Integrity are the elements that people remember about us.  You can be generous, excellent, and efficient (numbers 5, 6, and 7) above, but honesty and integrity are what people will remember about you.

Be Humble and Transparent

Humility and transparency (numbers 9 and 12) are the two other aspects that will be long remembered.  People with these traits seem to be fully trusted and are long remembered.  When you’re administering pain (in PT) people must feel your humbleness and transparency or they won’t come back.

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BlogCultureFacing Adversity

Struck Down

by Ron Potter

We’ve been looking at a text written over 2,000 years ago.  A partial reading of the text says that we are afflicted in every way, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down.  We now come to the last word in the sequence, Stuck Down.

Being Struck Down is Painful

While being persecuted seems very painful and personal, being stuck down seems to be the ultimate of pain and suffering.

Maybe you’ve been struck down in the past.  It might have been a baseball to the head that knocked you unconscious.  Maybe you didn’t see the low beam or branch.  These are very painful and physical.

I was never a fighter.  However, there was a time in high school when the school bully decided to pick me out of the crowd and make an example of me.  He was a couple of years older than me and much larger and stronger.  He slapped me hard on my left cheek.  It stung and brought water to my eyes and nearly knocked me out.  But when I recovered and just stood there, he didn’t like that.  So he struck me on the other cheek with similar results.  I guess at that point he decided he wasn’t going to be successful in either starting a fight or knocking me down so he simply walked away.

Years later a friend told me how impressed he was that I simply stood there and took it.  He thought it took real grit, self-control, and humility to accomplish.  I had felt almost ashamed for many years for not fighting back or defending myself and yet here was my friend telling me how impressed he was with the grit and strength that I showed during that moment.

Last Word of the Four

Being struck down seems to be the most destructive and painful of all of the four descriptions.  It can either be physical as in the example I gave or it can be emotional and maybe not even seen or noticed by others.  But it will feel as if you’ve been struck down physically when it happens.  Maybe it’s a simple word said by someone in a team meeting.  It may have been intentional or completely innocent but it feels as if you’ve been struck down.

Being struck down is painful and destructive.  It may even cause you to change who you are.  It can affect your character and your outlook on life.  And yet, it happens.

Dealing With Being Struck Down

There is no good way for dealing with the feeling of being struck down.  My only suggestion is to endure.  Remind yourself of who you are.  Fall back on your character and belief system.  You may have been struck down physically or emotionally.  Either way, endure.  Live through it.  Become stronger.  Grow.  The text says that it will happen.  We will be struck down.  In our lifetime, we will not avoid it.  At some point, we will be or feel like we’ve been struck down.

Read the next post in the series.
Facing Adversity
Afflicted in Every Way
Perplexed
Persecuted
Struck Down
Ancient Text
Regrets—Text to Corinthians
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BlogCultureFacing Adversity

Persecuted

by Ron Potter

We’ve been looking at a text written over 2,000 years ago.  A partial reading of the text says that we are afflicted in every way, perplexed, persecuted, and struck down.

In this blog we’ll be looking at the third word on the list, persecuted.  One of the definitions from the dictionary is “Subject to hostility and ill-treatment.”  Another one says to “harass or annoy persistently.”  While being annoyed by someone can be humorous (for a period of time), the other words of hostility, ill-treatment, and harassment are powerful, personal, and damaging.

Dealing With Persecution

One of my favorite fictional characters is Jack Reacher from the novels written by Lee Child.  Reacher, retired from the Military Police, is simply walking across the United States to see it up close and in person.  However, his “simple” walk turns into some sort of personal persecution in almost every small town.  It’s interesting to me that even though he is unjustly persecuted in each novel, Reacher never seems to be too upset by the persecution. He simply starts some logical investigative work that he learned in the military to “get at” what is causing the persecution.

As our ancient text says, we will be persecuted for no apparent reason. Reacher lives with that kind of persecution everywhere he goes.  The text says nothing about justly or unjustly, it just says we will be persecuted.  Almost nothing makes us feel worse than being persecuted.

Tough to Deal With

Unlike the first two words of our text, persecution is personal.  It feels like we are being harmed.

I was working with one company for several years when my client saw me enter the office of someone he didn’t trust.  He immediately called me to his office and fired me.  He also began to persecute me.  He bad-mouthed me whenever he had the chance.  He identified me as a liar and troublemaker.  He said I could not be trusted and therefore should not work with anyone else at the company.  I was devastated.  I had always maintained a very high reputation at all the companies I had worked for and this seemed to be both personal and very damaging.

I talked with this person’s boss (whom I had also worked for and believed I had a good reputation with).  The boss gave me some advice.  He told me that when this person found out that none of the accusations were true (the boss still believed in me), he would never apologize (it wasn’t in his nature) but he would ask me to continue working for him as if nothing had happened.  The boss was right.  Within a couple of months, the person asked me to come to his office and began talking about what needed to be done next with his team.  He never apologized but simply went on about our work together as if nothing had happened.  In fact, I worked with him and his teams at two other companies when he took new jobs.

Persecuted

Persecution happened.  I almost quit consulting believing I had done something very wrong or bad, but just didn’t know what.  I was being heavily persecuted but it seemed to come from nowhere.  Our ancient text doesn’t say that we will deserve the persecution, it just says we will be persecuted.

Sometimes we’re persecuted for a reason.  Maybe we were the first to persecute the other person and now it’s payback time.  But that’s not what the text is referring to.  It doesn’t give a reason.  It simply says we will experience persecution.  To deal with the persecution there is reason to examine yourself to make sure you were not the instigator, but like my example above and the text says, “you will be persecuted.”  When that happens, the only advice I have is to be patient with yourself.  You may never know why you were feeling persecuted.  The text simply says “you will be persecuted.”  This takes a lot of humility and grit.  It’s not easy to remain calm during persecution—but be patient.  Eventually, things will clear up.

Read the next post in the series.
Facing Adversity
Afflicted in Every Way
Perplexed
Persecuted
Struck Down
Ancient Text
Regrets—Text to Corinthians
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BlogLeadership

Papa by the Pond

by Ron Potter

The Essay

This was an essay written by my granddaughter:

“Bend your knees,  watch the ball, steady swing.  Good Job, you hit the green.”  A very influential person in my life has been my grandfather.  He has taught me so many things.  Through all the ups and downs of life, he has been the same Papa Bear who is always cheering me on and making me feel special.  I want him to know I appreciate everything he has done in my life and even the small acts of kindness don’t go unnoticed.

My grandpa is the most kind-hearted person I know.  He is always asking how I’m doing, my opinion on things, and what I’m interested in.  He always wants to know about what I’ve been up to and he never gets bored when we talk.  My grandpa asked me what my favorite TV show was.  I said The Flash.  That night he went home and started watching it.  The next time I saw him he had all these questions for me about the show.  He made me feel really special and like someone cared about my opinion.  My grandpa has so much kindness in his heart and he shows it to everyone.  He has shown me there is always a reason to be kind to someone and strive to live that way every day.

Papa Potter has had many health problems but he never lets them keep him from still investing in my life or playing golf with his friends.  He takes time with everyone he cares about and makes sure they know he loves them and they are important.  My grandpa makes me feel so special even with all the things going on in his life and being super tired all the time.  He still takes the time to teach me to golf or just talk.  He takes his time every summer to take all the grandchildren to the golf course.  He lets all of us hit as many as we want and gives us pointers so we can get better. My grandpa has taught me that even with everything going on in this world, I can’t let it take up my whole life.  Even if I am stressed and have multiple things going, it doesn’t need to control my life.  I have to keep living and loving.

Last year, my grandpa received the Alumni of the Year award from his high school.  He had to make a speech for the event and he never talked about himself.  He only talked about all the people who influenced him.  He always cares about others before himself.  He has shown me it is really important to be humble and care for others and not be so consumed with one’s self.  No one will get anywhere in life if all they care about is themselves.  They won’t make life-long friends that will help them grow to become a better person.  Being humble is the most important thing my grandpa has taught me.

My grandpa is an engineer and he comes up with the coolest things to do with his grandchildren.  He makes the activities fun while still teaching us something important.  One summer, my family and I were up north at our cabin.  It is right by a little creek that we can float down.  He took us to the beginning of the creek and we would stop every 50 feet and then draw the shape of the creek and write down what we saw.  After we made it all the way to our cabin, we put all of our drawings together and made a map of the creek with all the bends and bridges.  It was the highlight of my summer.  My grandpa has a very innovative mind and puts so much energy into creating something fun for everyone.

I want to tell my grandpa I love him and thank him for everything he has done for me.  He has been the most influential person in my life and I don’t know what I would do without him.  He is such a kind and amazing human being.  I want him to know his grandchildren appreciate everything he has done because I know we don’t tell him enough. If I could tell him anything I would tell him I love him and he is my favorite person in the world.

My grandpa has taught me too many things to count.  The way he gives kindness, his drive, and his humility have all been very influential attributes in my life.  He is my favorite person.

I admit I cried when I read her essay.

Mentor

However, I immediately thought about being a mentor.  Many of the people that my granddaughter talks about in the alumni speech I would consider mentors.  They influenced my life.  They added directions to my thoughts and in many ways guided me.

Many of the things my granddaughter talks about in the essay should be considered mentoring—

  • Cheering another on.
  • Making another feel special.
  • Asking “How are you doing?”
  • Wondering “What’s your opinion on this topic?”

That is mentoring— building people up, helping them feel good about themselves and how they view the world.

Corporate Mentoring Programs

I’ve never been much of a fan of the structured mentoring programs I’ve seen at various corporations.  They too often seem about the older person parceling out their “wisdom” to the younger person.  They seem to be about tasks and projects, not about the value and worth of the employee.  They aren’t really mentoring programs, they’re more about training programs and telling the person what and how to do things.

True mentoring programs are powerful.  Pseudo mentor programs are somewhat demeaning.

Full Story

Just to give the full story here, when I told my granddaughter that I cried when I read her essay.  She said “Oh good.  When I tell my teacher that it will probably get me some extra credit.”

Oh well, so much for being a good mentor!

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BlogCulture

Four Tools of Discipline

by Ron Potter

Shane Parrish (my favorite blogger) wrote an article titled “The Four Tools of Discipline”.  The four he lists are:

  1. Delaying Gratification
  2. Accepting Responsibility
  3. Dedication to Reality
  4. Balancing

Dealing with Difficulties

Shane sets up the article with a few quotes from other well-known people.

Scott Peck from “The Road Less Traveled: A New Psychology of Love, Traditional Values and Spiritual Growth”.  This has been one of my favorite books through the years.

Peck points out that most of us want to avoid problems.  They’re painful, frustrating, sad, and lonely.  All things that we would prefer to avoid.  But he also points out that the whole process of facing, dealing with, and solving problems is what gives meaning to our lives.

Benjamin Franklin said, “Those things that hurt, instruct.”  He said that fearing the pain involved we attempt to avoid them.  We procrastinate, ignore, forget, and pretend they don’t exist.  We attempt to get out of the pain rather than suffer through it.

Avoiding problems avoids the opportunity for growth!  Shane lists the four disciplines needed to face and deal with the problems.

Delaying Gratification

We’ve all seen this play out in our lives.  I’ve been desiring a new watch.  Do I need one?  Not really.  Do I need one right now?  Definitely not!  What would delayed gratification tell me to do?  Wait?  The price will likely come down.  I have a watch that meets my needs right now?  Will I put off the purchase of the new watch?  Probably not.  Why?  Because I want it and I want it right now.

You can see the difference in children who have learned to delay their gratification.  If they haven’t, they want something now and will raise all kinds of calamity so that the parents will stop trying to delay their gratification and just give them what they want in order to shut them up.  The child has learned that if they just throw a new and louder tantrum, they’ll eventually get what they want.  They never learn delayed gratification.  Unfortunately, that leads to difficulties as young adults and even into their adult lives.

Accepting Responsibility

Shane says that accepting responsibility is emotionally uncomfortable.  He’s right.  It’s easier to say

  • traffic delayed me
  • someone else did the wrong thing, it wasn’t my fault
  • no one told me about the bigger picture or what was at stake
  • It wasn’t my fault.  It wasn’t my fault.  It wasn’t my fault.

The list goes on and on.  Shane closes that section with the following statement

Whenever we seek to avoid responsibility for our own behavior, we do so by attempting to give that responsibility to some other individual, organization, or entity.

Dedication to Reality

My blog last week was titled “Reality is Constructed by Our Brain”.  In that blog, I quoted Brian Resnick who said “Intellectual humility: the importance of knowing you might be wrong.  Knowing that you might be wrong should drive you to be curious about how others see their “reality”.  If it doesn’t create that curiosity, it causes us to dig in our heels about what we believe to be true and our own version of what reality is.

Scott Peck says “Truth or reality is avoided when it is painful.  We can revise our maps only when we have the discipline to overcome that pain.”

Shane says “The only way we can ensure our map is correct and accurate is to expose it to the criticism of others.”

If we believe our view of the world is the one and only correct view, we remain closed to the view of others.

Balancing

Shane says that “Balancing is the discipline that gives us flexibility.  Extraordinary flexibility is required for successful living in all spheres of activity.”

A few blogs back I talked about Simone Biles and the balance she exhibits in her gymnastic routines.  There are only a handful of people in the world who can come close to the physical balance she exhibits.  But many of us can work at and accomplish that kind of balance in our mental thinking.

Delaying gratification.
Accepting responsibility.
Dedication to reality.
Balancing.

Let’s close with the last one, “Balancing”.  Think about balancing the other three.  If the first three get too far out of balance with each other, problems arise.

Too much-delayed gratification without a dedication to reality will lead to frustration.  Eventually, the question will arise, delayed gratification to what end?  If there is nothing at the end of the tunnel, the delayed gratification is for nothing, it only leads to frustration.

As I was about to write the next statement about “Accepting Responsibility”, I found myself looking over at a picture of my father.  He had lost a leg during WWII.  I never heard him talk about how the Germans were responsible.  I never heard him talk about how the generals and leadership were responsible.  While he may not have accepted responsibility, he did accept reality.  He came home from the war, married, started a business, and had four children.

The picture I found myself looking at was dad (with his cane) and all four kids out on a frozen pond with a hatched while he taught us to cut a hole in the ice for ice fishing.  Looking at that picture reminded me why he has been one of the most influential in my life.

Balance.  Balance.  Balance.

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Reality Is Constructed By Our Brain

by Ron Potter

Neuroscientist Patrick Cavanagh says that “It’s really important to understand we’re not seeing reality, we’re seeing a story being created for us.”

Brain Stories

What actually creates these stories?  It’s our backgrounds, beliefs, assumptions that have been formed throughout our lifetime.  Dr. Cavanagh says that “Our brains bend our perception of reality to meet our desires or expectations.  They fill the gaps using our past experiences.”

Our brains see what we expect them to see.  I’ve talked before about how our backgrounds and experiences form our belief systems so that we see what we want or expect to see.  Remember the professor in Florida who had his class write down everything they could remember about the shuttle explosion that had occurred the day before? He collected all of their handwritten reports and then tracked down as many of them as he could several years later.  Not one of them agreed with what they had written because their memory was different.

One student actually read his 14 written pages very carefully and then totally rejected it.  He said the report was not correct then proceeded to tell the professor what “really” happened that day.  His mind had created its own reality in spite of what he had written down at the moment.

Curious About Our Brain Stories

If we know that our brain tends to make up stories so that we see and hear what we desire, shouldn’t we be curious enough to explore what the reality is compared to our brain story?

It’s when we don’t have that curiosity about our brain story and simply accept our perception as the reality that creates problems as leaders and team members.

Intellectual Humility

In a Vox article, Brian Resnick said “Intellectual humility: the importance of knowing you might be wrong.”

This is a great statement: knowing that you might be wrong.

The first part of that statement is “knowing”.  We all assume that our view of the world and circumstances is “correct”.  However, if we mature in our thinking we begin to understand that our view or opinion is firmly rooted in the experiences and history that we have lived.  Having respect for others indicates that we’re beginning to learn that their view or opinion is also firmly rooted in their experiences and history.  And just like snowflakes, no two human beings have exactly the same experiences.

The second part of the statement is knowing that we might be wrong.  I don’t believe that one set of experiences is right and one is wrong.  I simply believe they are each unique.  Building great teams starts with this premise.  With full respect, we start sharing the different opinions and beliefs that we each hold.  Once we’ve shared and understood, it’s then possible for the team to develop a unique response to the situation that belongs to the team.  Not an individual.

Team Unity

It’s when a team reaches this unity that they really begin to become a team.  They made the decision together.  They each had a different view coming into the discussion.  But they come out with a decision that the entire team supports.  Even when others remind us that we had a very different opinion going into the team discussion we can honestly say, “that’s true, I did have a different opinion but as I heard each of the different opinions and listened with respect, we were able to make a team decision that I completely support.”

Team decisions that are made after each person has been listened to, understood, and respected for their opinions are the strongest types of decisions.  Team members all support the decision and people around the team can easily see the commitment to the decision and the trust and respect they have for each other.  This kind of team can lead a company to new heights.

Try it.  It really works!

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BlogLeadership

Are You the Smartest or the Hardest Working?

by Ron Potter

Jamie Dimon has been a very successful leader of JPMorgan Chase for many years.  He talked of the traits to succeed that I found very interesting.

Traits of Successful Leaders

Mr. Dimon’s list of successful leadership traits included:

  • Humility
  • Openness
  • Fairness
  • Authenticity

He also included a shortlist of traits that don’t lead to being a successful leader.

  • Smartest person in the room
  • Hardest working person in the room

Later in the article, he enhanced these traits even further by distinguishing between management and leadership.

He identifies Management as

  • Get it done
  • Follow-up
  • Discipline
  • Planning
  • Analysis
  • Facts, facts, facts

This is a great list and is much needed to run a business.  But these are management traits, not leadership traits.

Dimon goes on to say that the key to leadership is not just doing the management thing but having respect for people. (Italics mine)

Elements of Leadership

Humility.  This is the number one trait of great leadership that I list in my book Trust Me.  The understanding of humility has taken a wrong turn since the original definition.  Humility is not being a doormat or turning the other cheek.

The original definition of humility meant tremendous power under complete control.   Notice that there is tremendous power.  Much of that power is identified in Dimon’s management list above.  But leadership has this strong element of humility.  One of the key elements of humility is having a deep respect for every individual.  If that respect is not there, it leaves untethered power.

Humility is the number one issue of great leadership.  Humility doesn’t happen without a deep respect for each individual.

Openness.  Some of the words related to openness include accessible, lack of secrecy, and frankness.  Being open means that you’re accessible.  Being accessible in general, people can talk with you at any time about anything.

Being accessible in meetings—because people feel and experience the respect you have for them, they are completely at ease talking about any issue.  And because you’re frank, they also know they can state their beliefs and assumptions and they’ll hear the same from you.  They also know that your frank opinion is not the final say but another point of view to be considered in the “team” decision.

Fairness.  Once again, a dictionary definition is very helpful:  “Impartial and just treatment or behavior without favoritism or discrimination.”  Can you see the equal respect for each individual in that statement?  Being fair with your team means taking each and every opinion and belief as equally valid.

Great teams understand that their individual beliefs and assumptions may not be the final answer but if they feel listened to with great respect, then they believe a great team decision will result.

Authenticity.  Authentic people are the same no matter what the circumstances.  There’s no question that you’ll hear the same thing from an authentic person regardless of who they’re speaking to.  They’ll say the same thing to an employee as they will to their boss.  There is no doubt in anyone’s mind.  They are simply themselves regardless of the situation or person they’re speaking with.

Be authentic.  Not being authentic is clearly and immediately noticeable by anyone and everyone.

Are You a Great Leader?

Or do you hope to become a great leader?  Yes, you’ll need to be a good manager but “good” managers begin to let their leadership traits come through even when they’re in a management position.  Even if you’re just a manager you can let the traits of a leader—Humility, Openness, Fairness, Authenticity—come through.

Great leadership traits always shine brighter than great management abilities.

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BlogCulture

Enjoy the Journey

by Ron Potter

Shane Parrish, my favorite blogger, offered the following quote—

“Become addicted to the process and results will follow. “

I believe many of us who are used to charging ahead and getting things done have a hard time coming to grips with this quote.  It just seems like we should be focused on the outcome and the results more than the process.

Simone Biles

Simone is considered the best gymnast of all time.  She has had four gymnastics elements named after her — one on beam, one on vault, two on floor.  She seems to be able to locate herself in space, regardless of what her logical brain is trying to tell her.  When she is high in space over that beam, her mind is able to locate herself and her body in relationship with the beam or the floor.  There is nothing quite like her ability to do so.

So when she pulled out of the Tokyo Olympics, everyone was baffled.  Why would she do such a thing?  One of her own explanations likened it to being blind all of a sudden but with everyone expecting you to continue to perform your regular job.  But I was blind!

Her quote that caught my attention was “The outpouring of love and support I’ve received has made me realize that I’m more than my accomplishments in gymnastics which I never truly believed before.”  Italics are mine.

The point is she never realized that her self-worth was more than what she could and had accomplished as a gymnast!

More Than Your Accomplishments

This is the heart of the issue that most high achievers deal with.  They (we) assume that our self-worth is dependent on a high level of accomplishment. 

This is a dangerous tightrope.

Just like Simone, her original feeling of not being able to compete at that high level equaled failure.  Her quote above about being more than her accomplishments shows that she was dealing well with what originally felt like a failure.

What Keeps You Up At Night?

Is it a task or accomplishment?  Are you thinking about everything that has to be done but you haven’t accomplished?  Is it thinking about what you have to “do” first thing in the morning (Saturday and Sunday included)?  Does it feel like you have to instantly respond to emails or texts 24/7 because something might need to be done?  Have tasks and the need to accomplish them taken over your life?

When I was first going into the consulting world 30+ years ago, I had an interview with the head of the Detroit office of one of the large consulting firms.  As I talked with the general manager he asked me, “If I need you and I call you to immediately come to the office, but you’re at your son’s birthday party, will you be will to leave and come to the office?”

I was so blown away by the question I didn’t even know what to say.  I asked the manager “How did you handle those situations?”  His answer was, “I got remarried!”

He was willing to sacrifice his family in order to get the job done.  His wife divorced him and he eventually remarried with no kids.  That ended my interview.  I wasn’t willing to sacrifice my family (and life) and he wasn’t willing to hire me if I wouldn’t make that sacrifice.

He seemed happy.  He had the corner office high in Detroit office tower, an entire section of the company working for him; he was well paid, etc.  But he may have been the saddest person I ever met.

Become Addicted To The Process

As Shane says, become addicted to the process and results will follow.

What’s process?  If you’ve been a reader of this blog, none of this will be news but your process should include:

  • Being Humble.  We all want to stand out and be seen as the best.  But what people remember about you will be your humility, not your arrogance.
  • Build Team.  There is an abundance of research and experience that indicated teams outperform individuals.  However, that’s only true if the team is functioning as a unit rather than just a group of people.  Especially a group of people who are there simply to do what the arrogant boss tells them to do.
  • Build relationships.  People want to know that you care for them and know them as human beings, not just about what they can accomplish.  People are motivated to work hard and be innovative if they believe their teammates and their boss know them and care about them as human beings.
  • There are many other processes that you can be focused on but start with these three.  The results will follow.

Meaningless Photo

This is a photo that really has nothing to do with the blog but when I saw this photo of Simone and Shaquille O’Neal together I couldn’t resist including it.  Enjoy!

 

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The Neuroscience of Trust

by Ron Potter

The brain is an amazing thing.  I’ve read a few things through the years about how brain chemistry affects Trust.  But a recent article on the Harvard Business Review shed even more light on the topic.

The Neuroscience of Trust

is written by Paul Zak.  Over a decade ago Mr. Zak and his research began to measure the brain activity of people while they worked.  His research began to reveal eight ways that leaders can effectively create and manage a culture of trust.  His research began to reveal some amazing things but he admits that he couldn’t answer the question: Why do two people trust each other in the first place?  Humans are naturally inclined to trust but don’t always.  Why?

This began a ten-year search to find a neurologic signal that we should trust someone.

The first signal that began to show up was our levels of Oxytocin in our brains.  High Oxytocin levels during our exchange with others seemed to be a clear indicator of trust while low levels made us cautious and less apt to trust.  Oxytocin appeared to do just one thing – reduce the fear of trusting a stranger.

From this research, Mr. Zak began to see eight behaviors that increased Oxytocin and increased levels of trust.

Eight Management behavior that fostered trust.

The eight elements that have become effective include:

  1. Recognize Excellence
  2. Induce “challenge stress”
  3. Give people discretion in how they do their work.
  4. Enable job crafting
  5. Share information broadly
  6. Intentionally build relationships
  7. Facilitate whole-person growth
  8. Show vulnerability

I will not go into each topic in depth.  You can read the article at: https://hbr.org/2017/01/the-neuroscience-of-trust for more detail.  But I do want to highlight a few points I’ve experienced in my 30 years of consulting.

Recognize Excellence

Annual performance reviews don’t work.  Someone once said that if you wait a few days to punish or reward a dog for his behavior he has no idea of the cause and doesn’t learn anything.  I’m not trying to compare humans to dogs but the brain science of punishment and rewards are the same.  If they are not received almost immediately while the incident is fresh in everyone’s mind, almost no learning takes place.  Immediate recognition for excellence is highly rewarding to the individual.

Induce “challenge stress”

When a challenge is difficult but achievable, it releases Oxytocin in the brain that intensifies focus and strengthens social connections.   But this works only if challenges are attainable and have a specific endpoint.  Vague or impossible goals cause people to give up before they even start and reduces the level of Oxytocin, making it more difficult to trust.

Give people discretion in how they do their work.

One of the interesting outcomes of this issue I’ve seen through the years is that when a boss not only tells employees what to do but also how to do it, it creates an attitude in people that says, “If the boss is going to tell me how to do a task, I’ll never do it exactly as they think it should be done, therefore, I’m not going to do anything until I’m told how to do it.”  People are no longer invested in their work and will do the bare minimum required.

Enable job crafting

Mr. Zak’s statement on this topic is “The companies trust employees to choose which project they’ll work on, people focus their energies on what they care about most.”  Often there are tasks to be done that nobody really wants to do.  That’s reality.  However, people know that these tasks exist and understand that they must be accomplished for the company to fully function.  They really don’t mind doing these tasks if they know that they’ll also be given ample opportunity to complete tasks they care about.  Make sure they realize that you’ll allow them to do those desired tasks as much as you can.

Share information broadly

Only 40% of employees report that they are well informed about their company’s goals, strategies, and tactics.  I’ve worked with the Denison Consulting group for many years.  (https://www.denisonconsulting.com).  Years ago they developed a corporate culture survey where they can demonstrate that companies who score higher on the overall chart also perform better financially.  Three key elements of that survey include Vision, Goals and Objectives, Strategic Direction and Intent.  Sharing these things with all employees on a regular basis produces better financial results.

Intentionally build relationships

Through the years I’ve heard many corporate leaders make the statement “I’m not here to be their friend, I’m here to get the task done.”  Wrong!  You don’t have to be fishing or drinking buddies but people need to know that you care for them as human beings, not just for what they can accomplish.  Get to know your people.  Build relationships.

Facilitate whole-person growth

High trust workplaces help people develop personally as well as professionally.  This requires that you intentionally build relationships.  You must know the whole person, not just what they do.  All too often managers believe they’re investing in their people because they’re giving them training courses to further their skills in what they already do.  While appreciated it’s not investing in the whole person.  I heard one story of a manager who knew that one of her employees loved playing the guitar in a small band.  So that manager bought the employee a new and upgraded guitar.  That investment indicated to the employee that they were understood as a whole person and that gift increased trust and loyalty well beyond what a training course in advanced accounting would have ever done.

Show vulnerability

Even though this is the last one on the list I would rather it be number one.  Good leaders are humble human beings.  It takes humility to be vulnerable.  Humble leaders genuinely ask for the input of their team.  They don’t have all the answers.  Research indicates that this aspect alone produces a great deal of oxytocin in others which increases their trust and cooperation.

List of eight

So there is the list of eight behaviors that foster trust:

  1. Recognize Excellence
  2. Induce “challenge stress”
  3. Give people discretion in how they do their work.
  4. Enable job crafting
  5. Share information broadly
  6. Intentionally build relationships
  7. Facilitate whole-person growth
  8. Show vulnerability

If you’re a leader trying to develop trust and teamwork, don’t try to tackle them all at once.  That becomes confusing to the team.  Pick the issue that you think will return the greatest rewards.  Ask the team if you’ve picked the right one and listen with the intent to understand.  That act in itself will require humility/vulnerability which will instantly increase trust.  Work on that one item and get frequent feedback from the team about your progress.  Once you’ve got that first one producing good results, tackle the next one.  You’ll be surprised how quickly the others begin to fall in place once you get better at the most important two or three.

Build trust.  It’s the only way to build great teams.

 

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BlogLeadership

7% Increase in Shareholder Returns

by Ron Potter

Did that title capture your attention?   What company today wouldn’t like to provide that kind of increase to their shareholders?

185 CEO’s

A research paper looked at 185 CEO’s and the performance of their companies in the S&P 500 between 2000 and 2013.  The conclusion was that the more humble leaders produced 7% higher value to their shareholders.  The paper used modesty, fairness, and sincerity to measure their “humbleness”  Let’s take a look at these three characteristics.

Modesty

A dictionary definition says “the quality of being unassuming or moderate in the estimation of one’s abilities.”

Unassuming.  There are several areas where a person can be unassuming or assuming.  Any of them can be good or bad.  One statement I like comes from Jordan Peterson in his book, 12 Rules of Life.  Rule number 9 says “Assume That The Person You Are Listening To Might Know Something You Don’t.”  That’s a good thing to assume and it makes you unassuming.  When leaders make this assumption about their team, it’s inspiring and leads to great conversations about the business.

Moderate about one’s abilities.  I think the word moderate is key.  Not too high, not too low.  It’s interesting to me that team members often prefer to work for a boss that they consider above average or even higher.  It only becomes an issue if the boss starts believing her own press and assuming she knows more than everybody else on the team.  Remember Jordan Petersons rule number 9.  As long as the leader remains unassuming, the team loves a strong, knowledgeable leader.

Trust Me

In my book, Trust Me: Developing a Leadership Style that People Will Follow, the number one characteristic is Humility.  The word has lost its original definition over time.  The early definition was “tremendous strength under complete control.”  As I mentioned earlier, people like leaders who have great strength and ability but are modest or humble at the same time.  That’s the winning combination.

Many leaders exhibit power and strength in their roles.  They may get things done but they don’t build great teams and they don’t develop shareholder value.

Be a humble leader.  The rewards are high and the relationships you develop will be tremendously valuable over time.

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BlogLeadership

The World’s Top Executive Coach?

by Ron Potter

I spent much of my career being an executive coach, so I was very interested to see who the Wall Street Journal had named the World’s Top Executive Coach.

So who did the Wall Street Journal identify?  Queen Elizabeth!

My wife and I have been big fans of the TV drama The Crown.  Several times in the series The Queen met with the then-current Prime Minister.   Her very first such meeting was with Winston Churchill in 1952 when she was 26 years old.  That sounds like a pretty intimating start to me!

Giving Orders

British law forbids the queen from giving orders or publicly taking sides on matters of state. Her only constitutional right is to be kept informed.  However, she is free to ask questions and offer her point of view.  It’s amazing how powerful genuine questions can be.

As Britain’s longest-serving monarch, Queen Elizabeth views herself as an impartial advocate for the people. But her primary motive, it seems, is to be helpful. She often ministers to her ministers.

Broader Perspective

The article says that “One of her greatest assets is an unrivaled wealth of historical perspective.  I have found this broader perspective to be useful in many settings.  Sometimes I will hear my grandchildren (becoming young adults now) say things because they’ve heard some of our misguided public officials say so.  I’m sure I sound like an old man to them much of the time but I simply try to help them see a subject from a much broader perspective.  Even if I restrict that perspective to my own lifetime, it covers over 50 years more than theirs.  I watched socialism form, turn to dictatorships, and collapse.  They have none of that experience when they seem to talk fondly of a more socialistic government.

Safe and Secure Place to Talk

The article talks about how The Queen gives the prime ministers a safe place to speak openly without fear of reprisal.

I used to meet with one CEO an afternoon every month.  I would show up after lunch and we would talk about anything on his mind sometimes running well past the 5:00 quitting time.  Leaving the meeting late one evening his personal assistant asked me (a little too seriously I might add) if I was selling drugs.  My response was of course not but why would she ask me such a thing.  She said that the CEO never gave anyone more than an hour of his calendar.  I would show up and we would spend several hours talking and laughing.

The Queen also provides prime ministers with something few world leaders ever get— a safe place to speak openly without fear of reprisal.

Queen Elizabeth’s role isn’t vastly different from that of a traditional executive coach. Most business leaders who employ coaches tend to swear by them. One recent study found that 71% believed coaching improved the performance of their companies, while 69% reported making better decisions.

Truly great coaches are a rare breed. It’s hard to find someone who possesses both vast experience and a keen sense of the present. But Queen Elizabeth’s approach to the job suggests that great coaches need something else, too— a deep reservoir of restraint.

Most great mentors will often have a better grasp on a tricky situation than the person they’re advising. But they’ll resist the urge to be a helicopter coach. The only way to help leaders learn and grow is to allow them to make their own mistakes.
The only responsible method is to let them speak openly, guard their secrets and, once in a while, try to redirect their thinking incrementally. Doing that requires humility—and lots of practice.

Good at powerful questions

This is something everyone should understand.  If you look at that heading again you’ll notice that coaches (I suggest this applies to everyone though) are good at using powerful questions.  If said another way, good questions are powerful!

One source you can turn to is the book A More Beautiful Question by Warren Berger.  The subtitle is “The Power of Inquiry to Spark Breakthrough Ideas.”  In his book, Berger refers to a recent research study of thousands of top business executives which found that the most creative, successful business leaders have tended to be expert questioners.

Berger is a source I’ve mentioned many times in this blog.  Listen with the intent to understand, don’t listen with the intent to respond.  Also in his book, Berger says “throughout his life Einstein saw curiosity as something holy.  To see curiosity as holy, you must ask questions with the intent to understand.  Be Curious!

Leaders and Coaches

I don’t care if you’re a leader, a team member, or a coach.  Being good at any role requires—

  • A broad perspective
  • The integrity required to make conversations safe and secure
  • The curiosity to listen and learn.

 

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BlogCulture

People are Crazy

by Ron Potter

The son of a friend of mine just graduated from law school.  When asked what type of law he would like to pursue, his response was: “I’m good at writing and I enjoy research.  Plus, if I go into research I don’t have to deal with people.”

As my friend was telling me this he told me this story,  he said “I never listen to country music but when I got into my car, somehow the radio had been switched to a country music channel and the repeating line of the song being played was:

‘God is great, beer is good
And people are crazy’

People are Crazy

Throughout my career, I’ve dealt with fairly healthy people.  And they’re all crazy!  Including me.  One of my clients said that everybody is 15% crazy.  And if their 15% matched her 15%, everything was good.  But if their 15% was at the opposite end of the spectrum from her 15%, they were going to have real problems, because they were crazy!

Smart People are Crazy

I think people with large IQ’s are particularly stubborn when it comes to crazy.

  • They’re smart.
  • They’re logical.
  • They can think through things.
  • They assume there is no other way to see a problem or solution.

Our reaction to them is that… “They’re crazy.”

Untrustworthy People are Crazy

When people are untrustworthy, devious,  or manipulative they can be seen as crazy.  If someone acts one way in certain circumstances and another in others, they are not seen as having integrity.  They can be termed crazy.

If you feel you’re being manipulated by another person (and we always seem to know) one of our reactions is “Are they crazy?”  People with integrity are seldom seen as crazy.

Overcoming Crazy

We mentioned integrity above.  That’s a big part of overcoming crazy.  Another trait is humility.  Humble people don’t believe they know it all.  They don’t seem crazy.  A third is curiosity; it requires good listening.  I’ve often talked about listening with the intent to understand.  When you’re really curious, it requires that you learn something while you’re listening and asking questions.  Listening with the intent to understand really cuts down on craziness.

Where is your Crazy?

People are crazy!

Have you thought about where you seem crazy to other people?

  • Think about it.
  • Ask about it.
  • Do something about it.

Being less crazy will help you be better at everything you do.

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