In Daniel Pink’s latest book, The Power of Regret: How Looking Backward Moves Us Forward, Pink lists four core regrets:
Items included in Pink’s book on moral regrets include:
- Deceit
- Infidelity
- Theft
- Betrayal
- Sacrilege
For me, I can eliminate infidelity from my life. I worked all over the world with many leaders and never once was drawn to infidelity. Part of it may have been my low self-esteem when it came to my own looks, not thinking about why any woman would be attracted to me. Most of the time I just felt God made me invisible so there was no temptation. In any case, I was never drawn to infidelity.
In My Life
However, the other four seem to have been present through most of my life. Deceit can either be not telling the truth or not committing the truth. I have several regrets about the commission of truth mainly as one of my regrets.
Theft is one thing that was not prevalent in my life but one of my earliest regrets is taking a candy bar from the local drug store fountain shop where we all seemed to congregate as kids. I felt so bad about it that I purchased a candy bar and put it back on the shelf when no one was looking.
There were a few instances of betrayal when I would “throw my best friend under the bus” so that I wasn’t blamed for something.
Sacrilege is an interesting one. Most of us think of it in religious terms. But it’s not. The dictionary says it is the “violation or misuse of what is regarded as sacred.” What do you consider as sacred?
Self-Examination
This one takes a lot of self-examination and honesty with yourself.
I once had a client that I had a hard time connecting with. He then explained that he was a player! I didn’t know what being a player meant so I asked him. He said it meant that he had affairs with numerous women. The number was astronomical to me. When I asked about his wife, his response was that she knew the kind of person he was when she married him. He had spent very little time self-examining.
Are you a truthful person? If not, then what? Does that make you an untruthful person? A liar? Then you should probably spend more time in self-analysis. With a trusted friend if that’s possible. Have you developed that kind of friend who can tell you anything that causes you to self-exam yourself? If not, what have you been avoiding? We’ll talk about this one in more detail in next week’s blog on connection.