Leadership
He reduced complexities to essentials, making the game easier to learn. He wanted simple things done with consistent excellence rather than complicated things done poorly.
—Journalist William Furlong on Vince Lombardi
The game of golf requires proper equipment, good skills, countless hours of practice, tons of patience, and luck. But maybe more than any of these, golf requires a highly refined ability to concentrate. Another word for this is focus.
Chi Chi Rodriguez, a golfer on tour some years ago, was wildly popular with fans. During one Bob Hope Desert Classic, the easygoing Chi Chi (who tackled difficult putts with a toreador’s look in his eye, drawing his putter like a sword from an invisible scabbard) was in rare form. Every ball flew from his club face with tremendous power and accuracy. He tore up the course, having a birdie chance on nearly every hole. Chi Chi was confident, in control of his game, and having fun.
Having fun? Yes. On this day, like most days for Rodriguez, he was having fun. He talked nonstop to the crowd, joking and wisecracking his way down each fairway, until he reached his golf ball. Then, for a few minutes, he was all business. He practiced his swing. He measured the distance to the green. He practiced again. Then he got into his stance, riveted his eyes on the ball, and “whap!” he hit the ball straight down the fairway or near the pin.
After he noted the path of his shot, back he went to talking and performing for the crowd.
Chi Chi Rodriguez is an example of a focused person: one minute a jokester, the next a serious professional golfer, ready to fire off a sensational shot. Although he could make the crowd roar with enjoyment, when it was time to hit the ball, Chi Chi focused himself, reviewed his goal and objective, and pursued his desired result. Nothing could distract him.
Leaders need that kind of focus. It has been said that no one “can serve two masters.” That’s a reality in all of life and certainly supports the importance of focus for leaders who want to keep themselves and their teams on target.
We have all had days when a variety of organizational “fires” needed our attention. We devoted long hours to doing “good” and often important tasks. But as darkness fell and we headed for home, we knew we had not done the most important thing. That’s what happens without focus.
Focus and passion are like blood brothers in achieving goals.
As a leader, how do you get from here to there if a vision for something greater currently does not exist within your organization? Consider the following ideas.
1. Clean up your act.
It is difficult to convince others to stand for something greater if your own life and values are mediocre. Make no mistake: Regardless of what you hear from assorted voices, your personal moral standards are inseparably linked to long-term leadership success.
I once worked with a vice president of a large company who appeared very successful but did not adhere to high personal standards. He was very good at what he did and had a magnificent reputation.
This V.P. liked to call himself “a player.” Essentially, being a player meant that he messed around outside of marriage. He did not see this as wrong (pride talking) and told us it would not affect his people or the quality of the job they were doing (pride again).
Twenty-four months later, the vice president’s inability to control his pride and lust cost him everything, including his job. His clever scheme fell apart. His self-focus swallowed him up.
It’s fun to be a leader, flattering to have influence, and invigorating to have a room full of people cheering your every word. It is a powerful boost to set a direction for the troops and then draw them out to march toward the goal. However, nothing will spoil this pretty picture more quickly than a willful, proud attitude. Pride can cause an uncontrolled will, which is fatal in a leader’s life.
2. Examine your values.
While attending seminary, Martin Luther King Jr. read extensively in the areas of history, philosophy, and religion. As he read, learned, and reflected, he molded his values and vision on the anvil of discovery, questioning what he truly believed.
This kind of personal searching is essential for every good leader. How can you clarify values, set vision, get beyond yourself, and stand for something greater if you have not participated in the intense, personal struggle to clarify, define, and establish who you are as a person? As a leader you will be asked many questions—economic, moral, and personal. How will you know what answers to give unless you have wrestled with some of the questions?
The result of this struggle is personal integrity and credibility.
3. Elevate people to a higher purpose.
Lincoln motivated people by leaving his office and spending time with everyone in the government and military hierarchy. One hundred and twenty years later, Tom Peters dubbed this kind of management style as “management by walking around.” When a leader gets out and interacts with all the people, the vision is communicated, the values are acted upon, the leader is observed, and the people are inspired.
Whether or not leaders literally walk around, the important factor is elevating and transforming people to serve a higher purpose. People respond by seeking higher moral standards for themselves and the organization. A higher purpose serves to develop common ground, and the common ground leads to energy in attaining goals. It creates a center of importance around which the team can rally and be unified.
4. Seize the higher ground.
John Gardner, Stanford professor, former secretary of Health, Education, and Welfare and founding chairperson of Common Cause, has written that there are four moral goals of leadership:
- Releasing human potential
- Balancing the needs of the individual and the community
- Defending the fundamental values of the community
- Instilling in individuals a sense of initiative and responsibility.
Gardner notes that concentrating on these aspects will direct you to higher purposes. They take the focus off of you and place it on the people around you. They enable you to let go of the things in life that do not matter and instead make time and create energy for the things that do matter: the welfare of others, the organization, and the larger community.
5. Recognize the cost.
Standing for something greater often exacts a significant price. Senator John McCain, told the story about a special soldier whom he met while a prisoner of war in Vietnam.
McCain spent over five years imprisoned by the North Vietnamese in what was called the “Hanoi Hilton.” One of the men in Senator McCain’s cell was Mike Christian.
The men were allowed to receive packages from home. McCain stated, “In some of these packages were handkerchiefs, scarves and other items of clothing.” The prisoners’ uniforms were basic blue, and Mike Christian took some white and red cloth from the gifts and fashioned an American flag inside his shirt.
Mike’s shirt became a symbol for the imprisoned Americans. Every day, after lunch, they would put Mike’s shirt on the wall and recite the Pledge of Allegiance. You can imagine that, for these men, this was an emotional and significant daily event.
One day the Vietnamese found Mike Christian’s homemade flag. They destroyed it and beat Mike for over two hours.
McCain remembers, “I went to lie down to go to sleep. As I did, I happened to look in the corner of the room. Sitting there beneath that dim light bulb, with a piece of white cloth a piece of red cloth, and another shirt and bamboo needle was my friend, Mike Christian. Sitting there with his eyes almost shut from beating, making another American flag.”
Lt. Commander Mike Christian is a real-life example of how leaders can shift their focus away from themselves, their power, and their potential to something outside themselves, seeking the greater good for others as well as for the organization and the community at large.
Standing for something greater moves leaders past their own interests to something that benefits everyone. It takes controlled strength not to fall back to the shortsightedness of doing things only for selfish gain or selfish reasons.
Standing for something greater means standing for something other than yourself. The cause is not “all for you”; it is something greater of which you are part. You bring value, but so do others. People whose view doesn’t reach outside themselves are ultimately limited to their own box of knowledge and vision.
An article in the paper today mentioned a person and her credentials as a faculty member of the Evolving Wisdom Institute. Now, I know nothing about the person or the institute so this is not a comment on what they do or who they are. But the two words, “evolving institute” seem to be an oxymoron to me. Wisdom is considered one of the four cardinal virtues. Plato identified the four cardinal virtues in The Republic. Aristotle’s Rhetoric lists the virtues including wisdom. Thomas Aquinas is associated with wisdom and of course there is the entire book of Proverbs (from Latin: proverbium: a simple and concrete saying that expresses a truth based on common sense or the practical experience of humanity).
Wisdom doesn’t seem to evolve. Wisdom is solid and stable and is continually being re-discovered with every new study on human nature. It seems to me that every time a new business book or research study comes out (Starting with the granddaddy of them all: In Search of Excellence) they end up discovering the:
- best leadership or
- best business practices or
- amazing brain research or
- studies on human nature,
they always point back to what these ancient philosophers and writers have been telling us for thousands of years. Wisdom has been the same throughout the history of man. Don’t assume it is evolving and you need to figure out where it’s going next. Assume your evolving with new ideas and assumptions (many of them good.) But periodically you need re-ground yourself in and re-discover the ancient wisdom and four cardinal virtues. They will always make you a better leader.
Commitment without reflection is fanaticism in action.
But reflection without commitment is the paralysis of all action.
—COACH JOHN MCKAY
William Wallace personified commitment.
The movie Braveheart tells the story of this hero-leader. He is the warrior-poet who became the liberator of Scotland in the early 1300s. As the film begins we see that Scotland has been under the iron fist of English monarchs for centuries. Wallace is the first to defy the English oppressors and emerges as the leader of an upstart rebellion. Eventually he and his followers stand up to their tyrants in a pivotal battle.
Wallace inspires his “army” as he shouts, “Sons of Scotland, you have come here to fight as free men, and free men you are!”
That battle is won. Later, though, Wallace is captured by the English and, after refusing to support the king, dies a terrible, torturous death. His last word? “FREEDOM!”
As a leader, Wallace understood the need to commit to personal core values, and he was able to inspire others to join him to the death for a noble, transcending vision: the cause of freedom.
This kind of response from others is what’s possible for leaders who understand the clarifying and galvanizing strength of commitment.
Commitment to Values
Knowing what you want is very important.
It’s surprising how many people, even those in leadership roles in large organizations, do not really know what they want. They are good people with good motives and good ideas. They work hard and get a lot done. But their values are inconsistent; their vision is not clear. They are wandering in fog.
To ultimately realize the power of commitment, you must be sure of where you are going and what attitudes and behavior will ensure that you arrive at your destination with your head held high.
Origins of Commitment
Commitment has its origins in clearly perceived values and vision.
Long ago, when I was growing up and forming my first understanding of life, I was mentored by a father who knew what kind of boy he wanted around the family house. Both men were committed to a simple core value: honesty.
Telling a lie was the worst thing one could do. Such an act brought great disappointment to my father and resulted in immediate sentencing and punishment. I quickly gained a deep appreciation for the wisdom of telling the truth. Looking back, I recognize that learning the value of honesty so young has served me well ever since. Being truthful has made me a better man and better leader. Such deep commitment to integrity began when my father focused my attention on honesty.
What my dad did also reveals how values and vision interrelate. My father had a vision for the kind of offspring he wanted to produce: a man of integrity. He knew that honesty would be a key foundation stone in building an individual with that type of character.
Commitment is not worth much if you have a distorted vision and rotten values. It is crucial, then, for leaders to develop the right core values. Right actions flow out of right values such as integrity, honesty, human dignity, service, excellence, growth, and evenhandedness. This set of values will determine much about the vision that leaders create and how they work with and through people—essentially how they lead and to what they are committed.
The opportunity to mentor exists in every setting where people need to draw on one another’s talents to accomplish a goal.
Frank Darabont, director of The Green Mile, reflected on Tom Hanks’s selfless commitment to helping rising actor Michael Duncan achieve his best:
Fifteen, twenty years from now, what will I remember [about filming The Green Mile]? There was one thing—and I’ll never forget this: When [Tom] Hanks was playing a scene with Michael Duncan…
As we’re shooting, [the camera] is on Michael first, and I’m realizing that I’m getting distracted by Hanks. Hanks is delivering an Academy Award–winning performance, off-camera, for Michael Duncan—to give him every possible thing he needs or can use to deliver the best possible performance.
He wanted Michael to do so well. He wanted him to look so good. I’ll never forget that.
In 1999, Michael Clarke Duncan was nominated for an Academy Award in the Best Actor in a Supporting Role category. Tom Hanks, however, was not nominated.
Starting the Process
Here, then, are some thoughts on how to begin mentoring others:
First, the best mentoring plans focus primarily on character development and then on skills. As Jim Collins reports, “The good-to-great companies placed greater weight on character attributes than on specific educational background, practical skills, specialized knowledge, or work experience.”
Second, we see many mentoring attempts fail because the participants do not sit down together to discuss and set boundaries and expectations. The process flows much better if the participants take time to understand each other’s goals, needs, and approaches than if they take a laid-back, let’s-get-together approach.
Any mentoring relationship should start with a firm foundation of mutual understanding about goals and expectations. A mentoring plan should be constructed by both individuals, even if it calls for spontaneity in the approach. Nothing is more powerful than motive and heart. Both of the people involved need to fully understand what is driving each of them to want this deeper experience of growth and commitment.
Need a Mentor Yourself?
Research has shown that leaders at all levels need mentoring. Even though you may be mentoring others successfully, you need a mentor too.
There are two issues that we want you to be especially cognizant of:
- Vulnerability. You must open yourself up to your mentor by being “woundable,” teachable, and receptive to criticism. The essence of vulnerability is a lack of pride. You cannot be proud and vulnerable at the same time. It takes a focus on humility to be vulnerable.
- Accountability. Commit yourself wholeheartedly to your mentor (or protégé) and put some teeth in the relationship by establishing goals and expected behavior. Accountability should include:
- Being willing to explain one’s actions.
- Being open, unguarded, and nondefensive about one’s motives.
- Answering for one’s life.
- Supplying the reasons why.
Like vulnerability, accountability cannot exist alongside pride. Pride must take a backseat to a person’s need to know how she or he is doing and to be held accountable by someone who is trusted. People who are accountable are humble enough to allow people to come close and support them, and, when they drift off course, they welcome the act of restoration without the pride that says, “I don’t need anyone.”
In a previous post, I began discussing mentoring relationships. I would like to continue that discussion today, focusing on what it takes to be a good mentoring relationship.
Got What it Takes?
A successful mentoring experience does require a significant prerequisite: a quality person to mentor. A leader who hopes to succeed in mentoring must first hire great people. Too often, executives devote too little time to the hiring process. No wonder that down the road the mentoring of a poorly qualified employee resembles corrective discipline more than a shared growth experience.
Assuming the right persons are in the right jobs, a leader must then do everything possible to help those people feel appreciated, supported, empowered, and fully equipped to complete their tasks. In addition, a leader needs to help the other person understand that success is not just “making the numbers” (competency) but includes developing character as well.
It Takes Time
A good mentoring experience also requires longevity. The leader and the protégé need to stay at it long enough for the relationship to bear mature fruit.
In the late nineties I was talking to the CEO with whom I had been working for about four years. As we were chatting comfortably at the end of a session, he said to me, “Ron, all of the work you do for us around team building, leadership development, and culture improvement is worth every penny. But your real value for me as a CEO is when we have these little chats, one on one, in these relaxing, comfortable, and trusting moments.”
At that moment I began to realize that the aspect of the business I found most enjoyable—talking openly and honestly with the leaders I worked with—was also the aspect they experienced as most valuable. Since that time a sizable percentage of my consulting business comes from personally coaching and mentoring business leaders.
During these moments of honest interaction, leaders are able to talk with me about personal doubts, concerns over the performance of another individual, and innovative ways to tackle new situations. We can do trial run-throughs of an upcoming presentation, a conference call, or a one-on-one meeting with a boss or colleague. Almost anything that is critical to their performance is open to discussion in this relaxed environment. Even personal situations and career decisions are fair game. The mentoring or coaching role is mainly about creating a safe environment to discuss any topic.
It Takes Vulnerability
One of the hallmarks of a long-term mentoring relationship is the intentional vulnerability that develops between two people. This means they can easily strip away the outside masks and get down to the issues (both personal and business) that need attention. This kind of openness and willingness to share the truth is a quality found in effective leaders. They refuse to let pride get in the way of open communication that will encourage and assist others and advance the cause of the organization.
If these characteristics of a solid mentoring relationship remind you of a good friendship, you are right. Research data and our experience indicate that, more often than not, mentoring relationships grow over time into lasting friendships.
On cable television, almost twenty-four hours a day it seems, you can catch sight of a sheriff and his deputy demonstrating core principles of how to develop another person. Yes, Sheriff Andy and his deputy Barney on The Andy Griffith Show have this mentoring thing going on.
In many episodes Andy tried to patiently teach Barney about work, love, and life. Then, invariably, Barney struck out to tackle the problem at the core of Andy’s teaching, and messed up royally. In spite of Barney’s bungling, however, Andy always stood by his friend and coworker, exhibiting a bemused yet persistent patience. Andy was always there for Barney. (But we don’t think Barney ever reached the place where he was ready to receive more than one bullet for his gun!)
Although developing your own strengths is important, an equally important task in leadership is maximizing the strengths and potential of the members of your team. If you don’t do this well, you may experience a measure of success, but you will also end up very tired and frustrated that so little is getting done. There’s just too much to do these days. We all need help.
The old African proverb says:
If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.
Everything is going fast today and you must be nimble. The trick is to go far in a rapidly changing environment. That requires building great teams that go together.
What does Mentoring Look Like?
What image comes to mind when you think of the term mentor? You might picture two people sitting at a table in a restaurant, the older person, his or her head topped with waves of shimmering, gray hair, waxing eloquent while the younger listener is furiously scribbling notes on a legal pad. Although this scene may warm our hearts, it seems just a bit out of sync with the real world.
We would like to offer an alternative image of mentoring: Picture two people sitting across from each other in an office. Obviously, an important project is under discussion. The interaction is animated, intense, and often humorous. These people obviously know each other well. Speech is direct and honest. Mutual respect is readily apparent. Some coaching is occurring, but the protégé is not restrained in sharing some insights on the performance of the mentor as well. This relationship is built on trust.
With this picture in mind, we like to define mentoring as a long-term, mutually supportive and enhancing relationship rather than as a relationship in which a highly advanced human being tutors another who stands a step or two below him or her on the developmental ladder.
What is Mentoring?
Another way to envision the mentoring process is to compare it to parenting. In corporate settings we frequently witness nonexistent or very poor “parenting” skills. Executives and managers often fail to recognize that even the most highly qualified person may have significant blind spots or personal or professional characteristics that are awry or underdeveloped.
Rather than understanding the need to mentor appropriately and taking the time to discipline, train, coach, or partner with their employees, weak leaders simply hire people and turn them loose to do their jobs.
The basic definition of mentoring implies that the leader and the protégé want to build something that will last a long time, that will go far. It suggests sticking together and being patient as the learner and the mentor navigate the learning process.
In Part I of Letting Go of Bad Attitudes we discussed Pride, Judgmental Attitudes, Uncontrolled Will and Stagnation. We continue the Bad Attitude section with….
Insensitivity
Insensitive leaders are unconcerned about others. They have no empathy and are uncaring. They do not listen—not because they are prideful but because they lack compassion. They are so hardened that they can unknowingly hurt people and kill ideas and creativity.
Compassion, on the other hand, develops as a result of treating your neighbor as yourself. It involves serving your employees, team members, and customers with empathy. It means taking the time to understand coworkers and team members. It involves genuine listening.
Dishonesty
Dishonesty involves more than cheating, lying, or stealing; it is rooted in deceit. Dishonesty happens when a leader denies reality or seeks gain through deviousness. It is about game playing, manipulation, and pretense.
Dishonesty always destroys the fiber of a company—regardless of how good the numbers are. Integrity overcomes dishonesty. Leaders of integrity strive to avoid the deceitfulness of appearances. They are genuine, sincere, authentic, and trustworthy—qualities that build the confidence of coworkers and employees in their leaders.
Divisiveness
Nothing can destroy a team or an organization like a divisive leader. Fear, anxiety, and confusion rip apart relationships and teams. Shared vision and values are trashed. Divisiveness can create an us-versus-them atmosphere that separates workers from management, management from executives, and executives from the board. It literally is war.
Great leaders build great teams where the level of trust and mutual respect is so high that team members can openly, and even strongly, disagree with one another and then work toward effective solutions. Confrontational behavior enables team members to fully explore and understand the differences. Then everyone knows that each point of view has received full consideration before a decision is reached.
Avoidance of Suffering
Leaders who avoid suffering always choose the easiest solution or decision. They avoid problems, responsibilities, and difficulties. They lack perseverance, endurance, and courage. They have lost the will to grow.
Leaders who are “avoiders” make decisions that avoid suffering today without regard for the future, and as a result, their people are always scrambling to keep things together. Leaders who choose avoidance completely miss out on the opportunity to grow through adversity.
Instead of choosing to avoid suffering, leaders who persevere will gain experiential knowledge and confidence. These valuable qualities can be passed along to benefit others in the organization as well.
That’s quite a list! Just think how your quality of life will improve (it won’t happen overnight) if you loosen your grip and let go of each of these bad attitudes. You will increasingly be a leader of influence whom others will trust and follow.
Recently I’ve had the opportunity to join a very small elite group of people. Thankfully the number of members is small because we’re among the few that have contracted one of the rare antibiotic resistant bacteria’s found in hospitals.
A few well-meaning friends have asked if we will be suing the hospital over the infection. Without hesitating, my immediate answer has been “no.” However, it’s been necessary for me to analyze my answer. Why have I reacted to a legitimate and meaningful question this way?
Overall I believe our society as a whole has become way too litigious and it’s harmful to be suing so easily over every issue. (It’s not healthy that we graduate more lawyers than engineers every year.) But that’s not a good enough reason.
As I began to examine my response in more depth, it seemed to boil down to a single reason why I’m not considering suing over this costly error:
The personal integrity of my doctor!
I’ve been reading Integrity: The Courage to Meet the Demands of Reality by Dr. Henry Cloud. In this book, Dr. Cloud explains that integrity is something far beyond personal honesty. It includes the dimensions of:
- Establishing trust
- Being oriented toward truth
- Getting results
- Handling the negative
- Being oriented toward growth
In his chapter on establishing trust, Dr. Cloud speaks to connection between people; listening to understand, empathizing and connection. Here’s a quote from the section:
“Medical malpractice lawsuits are avoided when a doctor listens and understands what the patient or family has experienced as a result of an error.”
Whether an error occurred or not, I don’t know. But I do know that our doctor has been with us every step of the way with full transparency, understanding, listening, empathy, and personal sacrifice on his part. This is a man of true and deep integrity. The power of that integrity comforted and calmed me and helped me through the hard times of dealing with this infection.
Have you ever thought about how much your personal integrity impacts the ability of your people to be productive and calm as they weather the storms of corporate life?
There is a chapter on integrity in my book Trust Me and I have always helped my clients understand the power of integrity by claiming,
“If I don’t believe you have integrity, I’m not interested in being influenced by you. Leadership is only influence. If you surrender your integrity, you lose your ability to influence and lead.”
Integrity needs more than just protecting; It needs nurturing, growing, and developing. Those of the greatest integrity will be the greatest leaders.
Many leaders would rather get and keep a grip than lose their grip. But if you want to build trust with others, you need to have the ability to let go. The discussion here is not about delegation. It concerns letting go of personal qualities that build walls not only between you and your team but also within yourself.
Letting Go of Bad Attitudes
If you want to grab hold of the eight energizing, productive principles we advocate in our book Trust Me, you must first let go of some bad attitudes.
Pride
Pride is pure selfishness. A proud leader’s mind is closed to new truths; he or she is unteachable. It causes inflexibility and resists change.
Pride is a focus on us rather than on the development of other people. Pride causes a destructive competition between our team members and us, and between their ideas and ours. It forces us to fight for our ideas and our ways just for the sake of winning the argument, not for the development of the organization or other people.
The opposite of pride is humility. Humility is self-effacement rather than self-advertisement. It focuses our attention away from ourselves and onto other people and their development. It involves being flexible enough to listen and be taught by others. It means allowing other people to generate new ideas and supporting those ideas even if they fail. It is realizing that the whole team, organization, or business unit is not dependent solely on you.
Pride is a wall; humility is a gate.
A Judgmental Attitude
Another bad attitude leaders must rid themselves of is a judgmental attitude toward others—
Judgmental leaders are negative and critical. Inside they may be angry or suffering from insecurity and low self-esteem. The result of this kind of attitude is a group of employees and team members who are afraid to act.
The judgmental leader needs to learn to become a developer, a builder. To fulfill this role, the leader needs to behave nonjudgmentally. In order to do that, he or she must respect, understand, accept, believe, and hope in subordinates and all team members.
Uncontrolled Will
An uncontrolled will is a negative force that is rooted in a deep stubbornness and an attachment to personal (and immediate) gratification, mostly at the cost of the development of others. Leaders with uncontrolled wills avoid committing to common values or ideals beyond their own. Rather than a stubborn will, we need a focused will that centers on development, goals, and productivity.
Keeping our egos in check and our wills under control enables us to function much better as teammates and leaders.
Allowing Ourselves to Stagnate
Frustration, burnout, and self-will can often cause stagnation. Likewise, when we feel overlooked or feel that our work doesn’t quite measure up, we have a tendency to sit back and let someone else take over. Stagnation also develops from not being asked to contribute. When leaders take control of innovation, followers can simply give up because their input is not wanted or appreciated.
Common traits that lead to stagnation are perfectionism or mistaking activity for achievement. Leaders who are perfectionistic or are more focused on activity than achievement create a stagnant work force. People give up trying to achieve anything meaningful because the perfectionistic leader never appreciates their achievements but rather picks apart everything they do.
Rather than allowing themselves to stagnate, leaders need to serve and teach boldly and provide vision, goals, and assistance to subordinates and team members.